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Featured For many of us ... Such a *transformation* is impossible. [a tid-bit about my MtF transition]

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Featured For many of us ... Such a *transformation* is impossible. [a tid-bit about my MtF transition] (2 Viewers)

Featured For many of us ... Such a *transformation* is impossible. [a tid-bit about my MtF transition]

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Shannon De Vaughn | The Million Dollar Look
For many of us ... Such a *transformation* is impossible. I began my transition journey before even knowing what transgender was.

My very first experience - my AHA! moment was when I saw the beautiful Shannon DeVaughn -- known then as "The Million Dollar Look" -- on stage back in 1992 at the The Carousel II. I was 17: young, dumb, naive, pre-blossoming, a caterpillar whose cocoon had not even been thought into being at this particular point.

She was beautiful. She was in the wind. She was flitting all about the stage: spinning, twirling, giving life, sensual smiles, gracious nods of acknowledgement. She was glamouring the house down BOOTS!

She was the room's sole butterfly, instantly becoming my inspiration; I was captivated by her along with everyone else in the bar that hot Summer night so many years ago.

And in that special moment I saw not only Shannon's gorgeous breasts, her long flowing locks of golden hair as wings, but literally understood in that very moment a realization, I saw a reflection of an extremely new, impossible, yet obviously possible definitive of who and what I could be; A definition of what I AM. A woman!

So ... I was inspired to do drag for Wednesday talent night at the The Carousel II. It was an intriguing experience for me, because at this point I was quite introverted ... At school anyway. I was in our high school Masquers drama club ... As a techie. I ran the spotlight, ran the lighting production board, installed various lighting in the school auditorium and a myriad of other tasks behind the scene.

It was thrilling to be part of our school productions in whatever capacity; There was a semblance of inclusion. I fondly recall being a part of the Godspell production my senior year highschool. I wanted to be part of the cast truly, but as a behind-the-scene hidden "boy" as it were, I didn't really want that spotlight on me.

The acceptance and love I received from my LGBTQ+ family was so extremely motivational and inspiring and compelling though, that I dared to step on the stage as a performer, an artist, a drag queen. I was damn good too! "Beauti-FISH!" I was called, "fish" being an affirmation of femininity and being able to pass as cis-gender female.

I was coming into myself -- or rather I was busting completely out of the closet -- lip-syncing, dancing, feeling the hell out of "Giving Him Something He Can Feel" by En Vogue, the song originally made famous by the incomparable Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin herself. May she rest in peace.

I was getting my entire life performing the En Vogue cover.



I was feeling like a real woman. And it was so entirely freeing, a liberation that I thought rather impossible for me as a somewhat extroverted, NOW: young lady.

Doing drag on a stage of absolute acceptance, though, was my beginning soiree into the creation, or rather the metamorphosis of Jacquii Cooke. At the end of the day - I was *NOT* wearing a costume as it were. I couldn't really take the "drag" off. I didn't want to take it off. I had began to blossom into myself. And it was a glorious realization!

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Jacquii Cooke [June 2019]
So yes.... While this meme is hilarious to an extent - It does not at all reflect what I would say is the vast majority of transgender peoples' lives. It certainly doesn't reflect my experience anyway.

My brief flirtation with the world of drag was my TADA! moment. It was like TADA! I'm a woman!!! It was magical and it did become instructive as for who I was then, and what/who I was to become. The experience allowed me to say, "I'm not a man. And I don't want to be a man. I cannot be a man."

I once was a boy named Adonis though. And I'm completely comfortable with this truth of mine. In fact, my rather personal poem Limerick (about adonis), which was composed back in 2006, opens with the following lines:
I once was a boy named Adonis...
Now I: fem-fatale Pocahontas
Yes indeed I am comfortable in this truth of mine. I have to be. And I can only hope that my fellow transgender sisters and brothers are comfortable in their truth as well.

I'm optimistic that in time, the entire world will also be comfortable in the truth that transgender people, although obviously of the minority, are simply part of our diverse humanity and deserve the same kindness & respect, and should be given the same regard for human dignity that everyone wants for their own selves and those that they love!

In the words of Lourdes Ashley Hunter, "I want to be seen, affirmed and celebrated as a whole damn person... I want to wake up without the threat of violence!"

Can we get an amen up in here?!
AMEN!





Article Author: Jacquii Cooke aka MsJacquiiC MsJacquiiC
 

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Margo King

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Mine started as a young teen to be. I read comics, and I noticed some new 'reactions' I was having...if i read Archie comics, I wanted to be a friend of Betty and Veronica. Now, part of me wished to date them, but my biggest wish was to BE them!

I then saw the pilot of the wonder woman TV show. Everyone, including me, simply loves Lynda Carter....but again! I so wished i WAS her! I was upset that I could not wear that costume or have women's body parts and shape...like i knew that's what i was supposed to have.

My teen years were totally messed up. I didn't date, do anything in school or college like dating and such. I had friends, but i was also very secretive.
 

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MsJacquiiC

MsJacquiiC

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Mine started as a young teen to be. I read comics, and I noticed some new 'reactions' I was having...if i read Archie comics, I wanted to be a friend of Betty and Veronica. Now, part of me wished to date them, but my biggest wish was to BE them!

I then saw the pilot of the wonder woman TV show. Everyone, including me, simply loves Lynda Carter....but again! I so wished i WAS her! I was upset that I could not wear that costume or have women's body parts and shape...like i knew that's what i was supposed to have.

My teen years were totally messed up. I didn't date, do anything in school or college like dating and such. I had friends, but i was also very secretive.
Nice drawing! Is that your work? And yes!!! I completely understand ... I just posted in another thread about my crush on Bo Duke from the Dukes of Hazzard. I very lowkey wish I was Daisy = Wanted to be her, as I completely felt at that time and obviously still to this very day, that I was much more feminine/female than my genitals and all of society was saying I wasn't!

Many of us *miss out* on our childhoods, simply because we were not allowed to live it as our authentic selves - and to the best of our abilities. Back in 1992-1993, it was especially taboo and a lot of animus as concerns being gay, transgender not even a word that I was familiar with until the very end of senior year. I recognized that it is what I am though and started presenting and living fulltime as female, back then Ms. Adonis (Greek God of Beauty for reference), although a lot of people were not versed in Greek mythology and luckily didn't clock me for trans very often. I feel fortunate in a lot of aspects....

But to have childhood experiences as Jacquii would have been a dream come true!

J.
 

Margo King

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yes! I wish you could have been Jacquii as a kid!

No, I didnt make this art, but it was made for me...
 
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MsJacquiiC

MsJacquiiC

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yes! I wish you could have been Jacquii as a kid!

No, I didnt make this art, but it was made for me...
Ha. IDK if anyone would like to have specifically been "Jacquii Chenyneh Kween Cooke" except for me LOL. It hasn't been easy by any stretch of the imagination, as I'm sure you're well aware considering your own transition journey. As Langston Hughes wrote, "Life for me ain't been no crystal stair..." from one of my fave poems of his.

At the same time though - It was impossible for me to be a "boy" ... First time I was referred to as ma'am/lady I was 14 years old in New Orleans on a band trip. I was walking with a couple of my girlfriends and a panhandler walked up and asked if we ladies had some spare change. Got a kick out of that actually. But yeah - it wasn't really possible for me to be a boy, especially after having found the art of drag, unable to wash the drag off LOL

To each our own I'd like to think. Perhaps one day. Soon.
Anyway - NICE ARTWORK ... I too dreamt of being Wonder Woman. Shero of all sheros!!!
Although I guess she didn't really fly as much as pilot the invisible jet :ROFLMAO:

J.
 

Margo King

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Thank you!
we all have a bit of wonder woman in us!

thanks for being sweet
 
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MsJacquiiC

MsJacquiiC

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thanks for being sweet
That's me tryna show my Diana Prince part of my psyche :p - When most times I feel the need to defend with my bracelets LMAO. But not here...

I enjoy it. Here to help inspire others to be their best selves.
Cheers from a very hot East Tennessee!

J.
 

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