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This Boy Body
This boy body
had to carry me
all the way here.
No one else
could do it.
Would do it.
It took every
strength, every
weakness, every
mistake I ever
made. I succumbed
to the tide
that rushed me
along, stalled me
at the neap,
let me go at
the ebb. While
inside I strained
against myself,
trying to become,
trying to be
me. The image
in the mirror
lied. The image
inside strived.
It was buried
so deep. I
kept shoveling
dirt and crap
and that pit
became deeper.
There was no
light. Nothing
to light a pipe
with. No pipe.
All I needed
was a spark,
a glimmer
in the dark.
The only place
that fire could start
was in my heart.
It kindled
within, unseen.
Until I was
ready to burn
away the dark,
burn the dark
into day. Even
if the day was
a hurricane,
a flood of rain,
a river of pain.
It could not
but be. I had
to give birth
to me.
This boy body
had to carry me
all the way here.
No one else
could do it.
Would do it.
It took every
strength, every
weakness, every
mistake I ever
made. I succumbed
to the tide
that rushed me
along, stalled me
at the neap,
let me go at
the ebb. While
inside I strained
against myself,
trying to become,
trying to be
me. The image
in the mirror
lied. The image
inside strived.
It was buried
so deep. I
kept shoveling
dirt and crap
and that pit
became deeper.
There was no
light. Nothing
to light a pipe
with. No pipe.
All I needed
was a spark,
a glimmer
in the dark.
The only place
that fire could start
was in my heart.
It kindled
within, unseen.
Until I was
ready to burn
away the dark,
burn the dark
into day. Even
if the day was
a hurricane,
a flood of rain,
a river of pain.
It could not
but be. I had
to give birth
to me.
