What am I, really?

[Margo King]

Sigh. this is a hard one.
I'm in my 50's. Married. Known in my community. Seen as a guy.

But deep down, for the longest time, i've also had my female self. Yes, ive dressed off and on since a teen. I've discussed with a therapist years ago, who kind of blew it off. Im seeing a gender therapist now. I'm on HRT (Patch) and have nipple pains and smooth skin starting.

Wife knows. Not happy about it, but doesn't really wish to discuss.

I always wear at least one of more feminine items of clothing each day. have some makeup.

(one time, at a 5K run, a couple moved off the sidewalk saying ("we need to let HER go by")

I'm still seen as a guy by most. I have told some friends...some didn't like to hear

I guess im bisexual as id love it if a guy accepted me as a woman..that would be a thrill

Now, if for some reason, I NEVER come out fully, but im still Margo as well as my male self, does that still make me valid?

Maybe im bigender? I just dont know how i should be , or appear.

Oh, I play a female on second life virtual world. now thats a thrill!

Thanks for looking and reading!

 

[MsJacquiiC]

I guess im bisexual as id love it if a guy accepted me as a woman..that would be a thrill

Well Margo King ... There are two separate issues with this statement.

1. Gender Identity (being accepted as a woman who was AMAB)
2. Sexual Orientation (attracted to both males & females)

The thing is - You might identify as a woman. That's your gender identity, which is a complete different thing than sexual orientation, which is who you are attracted to. I know plenty of trans women who identify as trans lesbians, while having met more than a few trans men who identify as gay men. You can be trans and bisexual. Especially if you want to be identified as "Margo" even though society has sorta prevented you from doing so.

You've started HRT - so you've definitely began a transition journey. I only that you are able to work it out with your friends and family, as for gaining the acceptance you deserve. If not - there are communities like TSSN who will welcome you with open arms.

One of my fave memes created for our FB page is a quote from the show POSE:

Quote from POSE

• MsJacquiiC
• Jul 20, 2019
• pose quote television

RE: Relatives v. FAMILY .... The distinction as quoted by Hector Xtravaganza ... Captured from...

Now, if for some reason, I NEVER come out fully, but im still Margo as well as my male self, does that still make me valid?

Valid is really subjective to each individual. But yes. I'd tend to say that you are valid. The LGBTQ+ community is an extremely diverse one. The ultimate goal for you I think will be to accept yourself as you are, and own the validation you want for yourself and reflect that in your interactions with society. As RuPaul is fond of saying, "If you can't love yourself - how the hell you gonna love somebody else?" .... It's a question I've found myself asking on several occasions. And to that end - I say only you can define your own validity.

I hope this is of some encouragement and help to you. Cheers from East Tennessee Margo.

J.